Country Song

I’m sittin’ in the snow in my underwear;

I musta had a hoot last night.

I’d sure like to know if I had fun,

But my brain ain’t a workin’ right.

My hat’s on my head and, well, I guess that’s good,

But my boots are nowhere to find.

I think there was a gal, perhaps there was two,

I can’t seem to clear my mind.

What she gonna say when I get home,

She’s gonna black a eye,

She’s gonna break a bone.

I better have a durn good lie

This time.

My trucks still in the lot up on cinder blocks,

But I guess it don’t matter much.

I don’t have my pants and I don’t have my keys

And don’t have a clue to where they may be

And she’s gonna kill me when I get home,

Gonna blacken both eyes

And break every bone,

I better have some durn good lies,

This time.

It might have been the whiskey, might have been the beer,

Might been the men’s room tote.

Whatever it was, whatever I done

I smell like a billy goat.

It’s gettin’ mightly cold sittin’ in the snow

Without no coat, socks or a shirt.

I’m just wearing a strange tattoo.

And, man, it’s beginning to hurt.

I am freezing my rear in a snowbank here,

It musta been a howl all right.

I’m never goin drinking alone

Well, at least not again tonight.

What she gonna say when I get home,

She’s gonna black my eye,

She’s gonna break a bone.

I better have a durn good lie

This time.

This time.