After a Day of Listening to Radio News and Public Service Commercials Blues

I suggest scrolling down and turning off my music player.

Give me a brandy,

Make it a double shot.

Give me a brandy,

Make it a double shot.

Got to drown me some blues, man.

Got to drown me a lot.

There’s been much rust and ruin

And closets full of moths.

Must have been so much rusty ruin,

Then closets’re full of moths.

I think the world’s got pleurisy,

Got that whooping cough.

I say if the terrorists don’t get you,

If they ain’t no riots up your street,

Oh no, if your workplace ain’t collapsing

And you still got bread to eat – maybe meat!

You will probably find your suffering

From, from terminally fatal stinky feet,

I’m sweatin’ out the news that the sun’s so hot,

If I open up a window my skin is gonna fry.

My, my!

And god Forbid it, if my team loses the super duper overhyped doing the pregame all day and night bowl,

My heart is going to explode and it’s gonna make me die.

Yi, yi!

And you know, and you know, and you know,

I heard it all on my radio

And broadcasters never lie.

So…

Give me some whiskey, man,

And follow it with beer.

Yeah, yeah, give me that Black Jack Daniels, mate,

And douse me in beer.

If I wasn’t so creeped, bleeping, weeping scared,

I’d be paralyzed with the good old, good old

Radio News and Public Service Ad fear,

That Service Ad fear!

Make that another pint, lad.

Photo property of Ronald W. Tipton: The author, his wife and the photographer at Irish Eyes, Lewes, DE, February 2011, picture taken by the waitress.